Last rite of passage with Dignity

“The Art of medicine takes over, when science can no longer help” -Hospice care

          At the vulnerable milestones of birth and death, a ring of support is formed to honor souls’ transition. It is fascinating even liberating to ethically explore and appreciate the different processes in which cultures exercise the customs surrounding death. In America there was a group of physicians and psychologist advocates that pressured the U.S Government to make Medicare include Hospice care in 1978.  At the time creating this new health system was re-inventive and had a price tag of billions.  Imagine our elders being neglected in hospital hallways with no specific wing to shelter people on their last important journey/transition before the inclusion of death care into healthcare?

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Dr.Ciscely Saunders, one of the founders of Hospice care, she was relently in her mission and achieved a Doctorates for her mission to be respected and recognized
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At the End of Life it is your right to live and die as they want!

 What an immense weight lifted for us to create support to fall on. After all, no day is guaranteed. Today, End of Life Care is in need of a new reset with normalizing hiring an End of Life Companion/Doulas to meet the increasing needs End of Life demands to fulfill a dignified death. Everyday we are closer to becoming an ancestor.

Give the power of intention to the rituals which will mark our final transition.  We only have the chance to navigate this path once, ensure that all your strings are tied so your loved ones can have the immediate space to grieve.  If you have the means, meet an End of Life Companion at your final horizon.  You gain a guide through the many resources and options to make the most informed decisions and invest in a meaningful and gentle way to process all the facets needed to navigate our final journey/transition..

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Click to see the program. I am not paid to endorse but I did enjoy the course.
“Consider that love can only be as large, as grief demands… That grief is the growing up of the heart that burst boundaries like the old skin of a finished life.” ”-A.D.Brown

It Doesnʻt Matter how short a life is, It will cost you a lifetime of grief

The bitter alchemy of love to grief

Once deceased

Mark us in the

Present, to be loved

as Love presently!

-Camille Dee 20

Children haunted by grief will need a lot of Play space to metabolize grief, contrasting to adult needs ranging sporadically between isolation and over-stimulation.  

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It is normal to Grieve members of our community that we arenʻt directly close to yet something about their story reflects in us an inescapable truth;It is valid to grieve. We must process and release somatically. Going through a labyrinth whether in person or on paper while meditating on our pain has been noted in studies to calm our nervous system.

Reading signs between Preparatory Grief for an anticipated death & Grief after passing versus Depression is pivotal to protect our loved ones from avoidable pitfalls.  Creating a space for people at the end of life to be honest about their pain and self-determine how much pain they are willing to tolerate to live longer and pass with dignity.

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Click to Find a Support Group

Complicated grief occurs when a life is taken unexpectedly, or if our grief is disrupted by the nature of your relationship with the deceased.  Managing complicated grief  often requires an immense amount of emotional weight  to cope with alone. Seeking group support therapy significantly decreases the isolation and nervous system shock people experience with complicated grief. 

 

Grief is our companion in life when our loved (Love) ones die. I say Love in the present tense because their love is current. It lives on through the perpetuation of you and your customs of love that honor their memory! We only learn better how to surf the sets of waves grief brings each swell…day by day, Moment by moment.

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Click to get book on Amazon

In Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Calland and Patricia Kelley I learned that seeming like you are indifferent to death is more painful than saying the wrong thing. Opening up safe space to Listen with people experiencing loss severing the looming fear of never speaking about our passed love ones ever again.

 Dying people give many different kinds of signals when they are moving closer to depart this shell.  Some on this Journey find they need permission,Forgiveness, and sometimes solitude to pass on. Confusion is often diagnosed to people when they are actually trying to communicate through their dreams, visuals or dialogs that are repetitive and distressful

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Atmosphere Model, Brand Ambassador, Travel Companion, Companion, Lingerie Model, Runway Model, Swimwear Model, Exclusive Model, VIP Entertainer, Elite Series, Dinner Companion, Model Concierge, Elite Companion, Luxury Companion, Print Model, Caddy Hostess, Concierge, Exclusive Entertainer, Dinner Date, NYC Model, NYC Companion, Miami Model, Miami Companion, Chicago Model, Chicago Companion, DC Companion, DC Model, Hill Companion, LA Model, Bikini Model, International Model, International Companion, International Traveling Companion,

In Death, there are gifts of power and Grace. We just need to be curious of the Pain, whether Spiritual, or emotional that needs to be faced, also the guilt for what we did or how we identity with that shame comes to teach us one final lesson.  Seeing the gifts we find through death is the rain we need to restore our garden of life. This is the work…

Resources Gathered through my practice & Courses

 

Pharmacies in CA, San Jose 

https://heypharmacy.com/San_Jose/

 

Find a care provider Search:

https://www.nhpco.org/find-a-care-provider/

 

Meal Services

https://meals-on-wheels.com

https://siliconvalleystrong.org/gpd/

Organizing/Finding Care Volunteers

https://www.mealtrain.com/learn/mealtrain_plus/

Organizing Care Community

https://lotsahelpinghands.com

 

Create, store, and share a custom document that captures your medical care preferences, free of charge

https://www.ourcarewishes.org

 

Support Groups

https://www.verywellmind.com/find-a-support-group-meeting-near-you-69433

Find a provider search center

https://www.nhpco.org/find-a-care-provider/

 

National Hospice and Palliative Care Org.

https://www.nhpco.org

 

Visiting Nurses Association of Vermont 

https://vnavt.org

Hospice and Palliative Nurse Association

https://advancingexpertcare.org

American Hospice Foundation

https://americanhospice.org/learning-about-hospice/

 

Insurance and Hospice Questions:

https://www.medicare.gov/what-medicare-covers/what-part-a-covers/how-hospice-works

 

Hospice and Palliative Care Agencies: Marin and Sonoma Counties

 Hospice by the Bay

https://hospicebythebay.org/

707-935-7504 – Sonoma office

415-927-2273 – Larkspur office

 

Heartland Hospice

https://www.heartlandhospice.com/SantaRosa

707-523-0111 – Santa Rosa office

415-472-2637 – San Rafael office

 

Hired Hands Homecare Novato

http://www.hiredhandshomecare.com/

415-884-4343

 

At Home Caregivers

https://athomecaregivers.com/

415-898-4663

 

Marin General Hospital – Palliative Care Center

https://www.maringeneral.org/programs-services/palliative-care

415-925-7560

 

Marin County Health and Human Services – Seniors at Home

https://www.marinhhs.org/community-resource-guide/seniors-home-jfcs-palliative-care-consultation

415-449-3777

600 Fifth Ave., San Rafael, CA 94901

 

UCSF – Palliative Care (while in San Francisco, it may be accessible to some and is quite remarkable and well-respected).

https://www.ucsfhealth.org/programs/palliative_care/

415-514-1966

Death and Dying in Canada:

https://www.virtualhospice.ca/Assets/2018-05-07_FP_DeathDying-2018_20180607111418.pdf

 

EOL Doulas in Bay Area]

https://endoflifedoulas.care/meet-our-doulas/

Local Bay Resources page:

https://www.endoflifedoulaalliance.com/local-resources

 

Dignity Care Therapy

https://dignityincare.ca/en/the-model-in-detail.html

The State of Doula Care 2019 NYC 

https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/csi/doula-report-2019.pdf

Continuing Doula Care/E.D

https://www.joincake.com/blog/death-doula-resources/

 

Educational for Doula: Caregiving Demonstrations 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL47B0761255A1F993

Further Education: Center to Advance Palliative Care certifications

https://www.capc.org

 

Education: VITAS Healthcare offers free webinars by experienced hospice professionals to educate on the benefits of hospice

https://www.vitas.com/for-healthcare-professionals/education-and-training/earn-continuing-education-credits-for-training-in-end-of-life-care



Inspiring for Doula: Interview with Angel Kyodo Williams

https://onbeing.org/programs/angel-kyodo-williams-the-world-is-our-field-of-practice/

 

Further Education:

https://sacredartofliving.org

 

EOL Podcast

​​https://player.themoth.org/#/?actionType=ADD_AND_PLAY&storyId=15774

https://www.artofdyingwell.org/podcasts/

 

NEDA Alliance Resources

https://www.nedalliance.org/eold_study_guide.html

 

More Education/Certification

https://americanthanatology.com

 

More Education/Certification

https://cronevibes.com

 

More Education on Cultural Competence:

https://www.uab.edu/news/research/item/10969-community-members-train-doctors-on-culturally-appropriate-palliative-care?fbclid=IwAR1I9ORMyKugwFurKer9gxRhkvQ2zDhmal7f3BO7KbbCttLjrS7C-ewYS1Y

 

Find a Grief Counselor

https://www.centerforloss.com/grief/find-a-grief-counselor/

 Founder Advocate for Death-Care E.Kubler-Ross Book 

https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/5-stages-grief/

Article about Responding to Suffering

 

National Respite Locator Service

www.archrespite.org/respitelocator

Well Spouse Association

800-838-0879

info@wellspouse.org

www.wellspouse.org

 

Amazing Documentary about Grief

 

https://speakinggrief.org/documentary

 

https://www.centerforloss.com/grief/

 

Coping with grief through relaxation

https://mindfulnessandgrief.com/coping-with-grief-relaxation/

 

Holding Grief

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKb1XKxwyhg

 

About Grieving:

https://ct.counseling.org/2019/04/grieving-everyday-losses/

 

Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas

https://www.centerforloss.com/bookstore/Healing-Your-Grieving-Heart-100-Practical-Ideas/?bid=3&partner=304

 

Grieving a parent with Complex relationship:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hat-like-grieve-parent-you-didnt-like_l_5d484b13e4b0aca34121b147/amp?fbclid=IwAR0BypZMF5cwDD8PSt06s25moxxscjBfahvM4I4E-vTEMgUpcK5IKuoPyYs



Support for Caregivers through Respite Services

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-respite-care

 

https://bb.uvm.edu/bbcswebdav/pid-4230241-dt-content-rid-11067240_1/courses/CDE_EOLD101_01_20170918/Back-JAMA-2015.pdf

Founded in 1984 by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, the Center for Loss and Life Transition is dedicated to “companioning” grieving people as they mourn significant transitions and losses that transform their lives

https://www.centerforloss.com/bookstore/

Working through Death Yourself:

https://coalitionccc.org/common/Uploaded%20files/PDFs/Thinking-Ahead-Booklet_web.pdf

Support after Hospice

https://hospice-ncal.kaiserpermanente.org/support/after-your-loss/

Educational: Grief

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPvt_GXpwmZVv6UviCpK3Uw

What leaders have said for support through Covid & Mourning

http://recordmenow.org/index.php/covid-19-religious/?fbclid=IwAR3JTcd-vBpfyL3hkftCE40E6xG-mA4y-DYl_NcnKjFxSlJd85HTbW84oFk

 

On Suffering:

https://observer.com/2017/07/what-it-means-to-suffer-why-its-important-resistance-pain-emotional-mental-health/

 

GrievingOrganization

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/chapter/tcf-of-santa-clara-county-chapter/

Starting to the Conversation to EOL 

https://theconversationproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/ConversationStarterGuide.pdf

 

The University of Arizona – a Global Leader in Aging Research, Education and Care

https://www.aging.arizona.edu

 

Support: What to say when people are dying

https://grief.com/faqs-on-death-dying/

 

Starting the talk care guide pdfs as well as Institute for healthcare Improvement Resource Section (state specific organization of resources)

https://theconversationproject.org/nhdd/advance-care-planning/

 

Serious Illness Conversation Guide PDF

http://www.instituteforhumancaring.org/documents/Providers/PSJH-Serious-Illness-Conversation-Guide.pdf

 

Area Agency On Aging

Pleasant Hill, CA · (925) 229-8434

Closed ⋅ Opens 8AM Wed

https://aging.ca.gov/Providers_and_Partners/Area_Agencies_on_Aging/

Advance Care Directive Form California

https://oag.ca.gov/sites/all/files/agweb/pdfs/consumers/ProbateCodeAdvancedHealthCareDirectiveForm-fillable.pdf

 Autonomy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OXnZwOvjBc

Conversation Starters for aging

https://www.homeinstead.com/care-resources/care-planning/difficult-aging-conversations/

 

One physician’s opinions about Medical Aid in Dying

https://www.pallimed.org/2017/12/why-im-bored-with-debate-about.html?utm_source=Pallimed&utm_campaign=1715fc9093-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_WEEKLY&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_24a5418a01-1715fc9093-123905277

Taking Death into your own hands with a Terminal Illness

https://vtdigger.org/2018/09/10/westminster-west-man-at-peace-with-his-end-of-life-decision/

Christian Bereavement: https://christianity.org.uk/article/bereavement

Buddism Bereavemnt: https://www.hayagriva.org.au/wheel-of-life/loss-and-grief/

Hawaiian Bereavement:https://onipaa.org/kaumaha-helu-ekahi

Hindu Bereavement:

https://samhin.org/wp-content/uploads/Bereavement-and-Final-Samskara-in-Hindu-Tradition.pdf

Wiccan Bereavement: https://www.proquest.com/openview/7cdac40c10774ecef86166da500b331d/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y

Cultural Humility:

 

https://www.culturallyconnected.ca



Jewish Bereavement Support

https://jewishhealingcenter.org



https://centerforhealthjournalism.org/fellowships/projects/racial-disparities-end-life-care-how-mistrust-keeps-many-african-americans-away

 

https://centerforhealthjournalism.org/fellowships/projects/challenges-and-cultural-barriers-faced-asians-and-latinos-end-life

 

https://dying.lovetoknow.com/Death_Rituals

 

https://ideas.ted.com/11-fascinating-funeral-traditions-from-around-the-globe/

 

https://www.pbs.org/education/blog/beyond-sugar-skulls-the-history-and-culture-of-dia-de-los-muertos

 

LGBTQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1YZL6zuD8I

 

Indigenous Podcast

https://anchor.fm/around-grandfather-fire/episodes/AGF-30—On-Grief-and-Mourning-e6etg8

 

Decolonizing Death

https://radicaldeathstudies.com

 

https://uplift.love/the-ancient-hawaiian-practice-of-forgiveness/

 

https://rainbowhospice.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Legacy-Idea-Book-Newsletter.pdf



Standfordʻs:Welcome to the Multi-cultural Palliative Care Portal

https://palliative.stanford.edu

https://catapult.co/stories/how-disability-helps-me-find-life-in-death

Musical Aid in Grief 

McFerran, Katrina, and Meagan Hunt. “Learning from Experiences in Action: Music in Schools to Promote Healthy Coping with Grief and Loss.” Educational Action Research, vol. 16, no. 1, 2008, pp. 43–54.



Certified Therapeutic Music and Sound Practitioner Directory

https://directory.therapeuticmusician.world/dir/directory.php

 

Becoming a Certified Therapeutic Music Practitioner

https://www.mhtp.org

 

Reiki at the end of life

https://iarp.org/reiki-comforts-end-of-life/

 

Guided Imagery

http://envisionintegrativetherapies.com/PDF/SAFE%20PLACE%20GUIDED%20IMAGERY.pdf

 

Field of music-thanatology Support

https://www.mtai.org

 

Provides access and education of Network of Music & Memory certified organizations 

https://musicandmemory.org

 

Dementia and Dance Therapy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyqfswPCKeQ

 

Threshold Choir – providing gentle song, by the bedside

Marin County – 415-259-9651 

Sonoma County – 707-591–3008

 

Novato Music Association Chorus – https://www.novatomusicassociationchorus.org/

email for information:  NMAChorus01@gmail.com

 

Musical Therapy in Bay Area: 

https://thresholdchoir.org/solutions/what-we-do

 

Certified Musical Therapist in San Jose

https://www.credly.com/badges/6c761b55-e5b5-4e15-aff0-74d349b75906/linked_in_profile

 

Bay Area Musical Therapist

https://bayareamusictherapy.com/bio/



Energy Healer

https://www.wiseguideintuitive.com/services

 

Massage

http://www.heal-massage.com

https://www.banyanmassagesf.com

 

Holistic/reiki Healer

https://www.hemalivora.com/about (East Coast)

SEXOLOGIST * PSYCHOLOGIST * YOGA AND BODY MOVEMENT THERAPIST * PSYCHEDELIC INTEGRATIONIST * HOLISTIC LIFE COACH

 

https://www.wholepersonintegration.com/death-and-dying-psychotherapy (CA)

LMFT

https://www.proudtobetherapy.com  (CA)

Psy.D. offers KAP therapy

https://www.drjosievalderrama.com/session.html (CA)



AMFT Culturally Competent 

https://www.chosenfamilytherapy.com/madilynn-a-beck (CA)

 

AMFT

https://uncommonthreadstherapy.com/#service (CA)





Goat Therapy Bay Area

https://sfbay.goatyoga.net

Alive inside: Music Therapy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaB5Egej0TQ&ab_channel=RottenTomatoesIndie

Sharing Story App Resource

https://storycorps.org/participate/storycorps-app/

 

Leaving a Legacy:

https://www.joincake.com/blog/category/legacy-projects/

 

https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/making-memories-last-the-art-of-legacy-work.h00-158673423.html

 

StoryCorps Always a Family Video Kid Friendly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k8HHfJe828

 

Questions Resource for Legacy Work

https://storycorps.org/participate/great-questions/



Organize tresuring EOL

https://beremembered.com

Healing relationship with Self

https://opuspeace.org

From proactively planning your end-of-life wishes to navigating what to do after experiencing a loss

https://www.lantern.co

 

How to Plan a Good Death Article

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jun/19/how-to-plan-for-a-good-death-sheila-kitzinger



Sitting Vigil Checklist

https://onthewaytodying.com/sitting-vigil-at-a-death-bed-a-checklist/

 

over 100 short audio stories about living, caregiving, dying, grieving and powerful human moments.

https://vtethicsnetwork.org/articles-resources/wake-up-to-dying

 

Create, store, and share a custom document that captures your medical care preferences, free of charge

https://www.ourcarewishes.org

 

Tips in Writing an Obituary

https://www.joincake.com/blog/creative-obituaries/

Mandatory to Report Abuse, Neglect, or Exploitation

https://dlp.vermont.gov/make-report

International:

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

National:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.

1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

https://www.crisistextline.org/ Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Couns

 

Crisis Support Alameda California

https://www.crisissupport.org

Suicide Loss Survivors

https://www.crisissupport.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/

Eldercare Locator

800-677-1116

eldercarelocator@n4a.org 

https://eldercare.acl.gov

 

Protective Services to Report Elder Abuse:

 Marin County Adult Protective Services

Marin County phone 415-473-2774

https://www.marinhhs.org/adult-protective-services

10 N. San Pedro Road

San Rafael, CA 94903

 

Human Services Department- Adult and Aging Services

Sonoma County phone 707-565-5940

3725 Westwind Blvd., first floor

Santa Rosa, CA 95403

 

24 Hour abuse hotline 800-667-0404

 

If you suspect abuse in a long-term care facility, contact the Long-Term Care (415) 473-7446.

Medical info Storage for Emergency Free

https://www.vialoflife.com/vial-is-free/

Store of Senior Safety S.O.S

https://www.seniorsafety.com

Medical info Storage for Emergency Free

https://www.vialoflife.com/vial-is-free/

Green Funeral Service Bay Area

https://www.fernwood.com/about-us

Cremation service Bay Area

https://www.neptune-society.com/location/oakland-ca/?utm_source=gmb&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=web-button-9582

 

Online Rituals & Support

https://memoriam.services

 

Spirituality:

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-spirituality

 

Assessing Spiritual Needs

https://www.professionalchaplains.org/files/publications/chaplaincy_today_online/volume_28_number_1/28_1laroccapitts.pdf

 

Home Funeral:

https://bestselfmedia.com/doing-death-differently/

Home Funeral:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=M8CtyH4U028

 

Home Funeral Alliance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ojoCwt-vEM




Green Funeral:

https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/uploads/1/2/4/2/124231485/going_out_green.pdf

https://recompose.life

 

https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/health/body-use-after-death/index.html

 

https://www.capsulamundi.it/en/

 

https://www.thelivingurn.com

 

https://urnabios.com

 

https://themindcircle.com/bye-bye-coffins-these-organic-burial-pods-turn-your-loved-ones-into-trees/

 

https://www.fastcompany.com/90391324/water-cremation-and-human-composting-the-new-eco-friendly-frontier-of-dying?fbclid=IwAR3ivlWfcg7FZTN6FvnnUWks4MJh4f2ctHkdtRq4oBBnPbxIpRJChPJz0fU

 

Cremation:

https://www.cremationassociation.org/page/alkalinehydrolysis

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/cremation-hottest-trend-funeral-industry-1B8068228

 

DIfferent Ideas for Funeral

http://deathlab.org/constellation-park/

Millennial Influence

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2016/11/128187/green-burials-funeral-services-trend

Diff Death with Chemistry

https://www.wired.com/story/alkaline-hydrolysis-liquid-biocremation/

 

Funeral Services Support:

https://www.dignitymemorial.com/support-friends-and-family

 

https://www.talkdeath.com/trans-death-exploring-deadnaming-death-positive-lens/

Accordion Content

Veterans Lost resource

https://www.taps.org

I am always updating this so if you have any resources I can include please comment them below in the comment section.

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